_________________________________________
/ Q: How many members of the U.S.S.       \
| Enterprise does it take to change a     |
|                                         |
| light bulb? A: Seven. Scotty has to     |
| report to Captain Kirk that the light   |
| bulb in                                 |
|                                         |
| the Engineering Section is getting dim, |
| at which point Kirk will send           |
|                                         |
| Bones to pronounce the bulb dead        |
| (although he'll immediately claim       |
|                                         |
| that he's a doctor, not an              |
| electrician). Scotty, after checking    |
|                                         |
| around, realizes that they have no more |
| new light bulbs, and complains          |
|                                         |
| that he "canna" see in the dark. Kirk   |
| will make an emergency stop at          |
|                                         |
| the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula |
| IV, to procure a light bulb             |
|                                         |
| from the natives, who, are friendly,    |
| but seem to be hiding something.        |
|                                         |
| Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two |
| red shirt security officers             |
|                                         |
| beam down to the planet, where the two  |
| security officers are promply           |
|                                         |
| killed by the natives, and the rest of  |
| the landing party is captured.          |
|                                         |
| As something begins to develop between  |
| the Captain and Yeoman Rand,            |
|                                         |
| Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a |
| Klingon destroyer and must              |
|                                         |
| warp out of orbit. Although badly       |
| outgunned, he cripples the Klingon      |
|                                         |
| and races back to the planet in order   |
| to rescue Kirk et. al. who have         |
|                                         |
| just saved the natives' from an awful   |
| fate and, as a reward, been             |
|                                         |
| given all light bulbs they can carry.   |
| The new bulb is then inserted           |
|                                         |
| and the Enterprise continues on its     |
\ five year mission.                      /
 -----------------------------------------
    \               ,-----._
  .  \         .  ,'        `-.__,------._
 //   \      __\\'                        `-.
((    _____-'___))                           |
 `:='/     (alf_/                            |
 `.=|      |='                               |
    |)   O |                                  \
    |      |                               /\  \
    |     /                          .    /  \  \
    |    .-..__            ___   .--' \  |\   \  |
   |o o  |     ``--.___.  /   `-'      \  \\   \ |
    `--''        '  .' / /             |  | |   | \
                 |  | / /              |  | |   mmm
                 |  ||  |              | /| |
                 ( .' \ \              || | |
                 | |   \ \            // / /
                 | |    \ \          || |_|
                /  |    |_/         /_|
               /__/